[mannequin]

take my measurements, will you?

i look in the mirror,
brown eyes blazing at me.

this must be an error,
i’m supposed to be happy.



dysmorphia haunts me,
dysmorphia taunts me.



she shows me an image,
one i crave to touch.
one i long to be.



wait—
is that creature really … me?

does my beauty not stretch beyond my brain?
have all of my prayers truly been in vain?

forever the beast, never the beauty.

★

aware of every morsel i eat,
but more and more and more i crave.

self-love is so easy to proclaim,
but it has yet to deal with my
shame.



beauty.
she is oppressive,
i‘m adhering to her every whim.



beauty.
she is fleeting,
i‘m chasing smoke and suffocation.



beauty.
she is [blablabla]
am i not making up meaning?

★

i cover my hair,
i sacrifice my vanity.

but beauty strikes deeper.
she injures my sanity.



she
adds salt to said injury.

she
mistreats even
the mosaic, a piece of tragic art,
arranged by shards.

my shattered self.



judgemental eyes follow me,
a gaze that pricks me
like needles.

i‘m numb to the sting.

★

i look in the mirror,
shards gleaming at me.

i must be an error,
what do you want me to be?



reduce me to my
measurements.

i‘ll gladly be your
mannequin.

---

---