[nectar]

meri jaan, my love oozes.

i cannot perfectly encapsulate my love in words, nor do i wish to. i write poetry for the sake of dealing with my emotions but with this love i cannot deal. when i reach for fitting words these come to mind:

a declaration.

stars fall from their celestial thrones,
shooting through the world
looking for their love.

i have so much love to give.
my heart slipped from my ribcage,
and fell into my hands.
a shooting star?

my love knows no bounds.

my love is liquid,
divine nectar
of overripe cherries.
deep red,
my love oozes
and bleeds.

i have so much love to give,
infinite,
never ebbing, always flowing.
overflowing,
dripping down my arms.
my hands,
reaching for you.
my love clings to my skin,
sticky to the touch.

the fruit of my labour,
my love must be earned.

a warning.

my love, i have been burned,
disappointed and dropped.

a few cracks mar my surface,
but i am not broken.
my strength glues my frayed edges,
closes the gaps that he left.

my love,
you cannot expect to be my other half,
for i am not divided in half, nor broken.

my love may be nectar,
but this ambrosia is for the ambitious.

a confession.

i crave peace and stability and found
only i can provide it.
my love,
i yearn to be proven wrong.

i want to be held. and i want to hold.
i want to be loved. and i want to love.

i am in no hurry to find you.
i know He has great things planned.
i trust Him more
than i trust this fleeting image of you.

lastly,
a glimpse.

i wish to find you through Him.
you need to find me through Him.

i have so much love to give.

so i beg you meri jaan,
please only find me
after i've found to myself.

i want to be
engulfed in the flames of us,
warmed by our harmony,
not burned by our dissonance.

i want to be me
before i am yours.

i have so much love to give.
but will you wait?

---

dearest reader, this is not about you. don’t be delulu, thank u.

i’ve got range btw:

father issues

watching and being watched (ew)

trying to cope with who i am